What it means to be a man has changed since your father’s generation. Gone are the days of the 1970s when pride meant shrouding your manliness in a cloud of hair, like puffy and curled shrubbery. It used to be the measure of a man was how mo’ can you grow? And judging from the those racy old magazines you found in the woods when you were thirteen years old, it was almost as if scissors weren’t even invented until 1993.
It was a different time.
Thankfully that era is long gone and we’ve since learned that the best way to show off your male goodness: Manscaping. I mean, is manscaping even optional anymore? What would it be like if you grew out your mons pubus to it’s peak bushman? Do you really want your partner to have to hack through the wilderness of your loins with a machete? Who has the time for that anymore?
The razor, however, is a double edged sword… like, literally and figuratively. Yes, the blade makes you look hairless and sexy, but it can also slash and burn. Or are you so tough that you drop-trou in front of a stranger with a jar of hot wax in her hand who has decided she wants to spend every day mercilessly ripping out hair right from the follicle?
If that is you, sir, I say: Brave. Truly brave.
Sometimes it hurts to look good, but it doesn’t have to.
Luckily there is Proud Cock manscaping aftershave balm. It’s 100% natural, specially formulated to soothe, hydrate and heal the sensitive skin around your sex place with shea butter, avocado and apricot oils.
How do you use it?
That’s the kind of question only a dapper and intelligent man would ask.
Simply shave as you normally would with our Proud Cock Shave Soap scented with Patchouli essential oils. We recommend shaving after a warm shower to open up your pores and moisten the skin. You know the drill: Shave soap and a sharp razor with warm water. Now it’s time for le apres rasage upon the freshly shorn skin. Your skin will love it, and so will your special someone.
Just because you’re spoiling yourself (and your lover), doesn’t mean you have to be mean to the environment. You won’t find any of the toxic dyes, SLS, parabens or phthalate (do you even know how to pronounce that?) that the gross mega-corp products use. It’s something we take pride in. We’re cruelty free, vegetarian friendly and, of course, gluten free. You should only be putting wheat there if that’s like, you know, your thing. If that is your thing, then wear it like a badge of honour. We’re all about confidence here.
So be proud: Stand tall, feel smooth, and lightly scent your junk with the pleasant citrus aroma of bergamot. When the time comes for the great reveal, we know your pride will be accompanied by joy.